I'm sinking beneath the surface of all that I thought I could be. I've been here before, and I'm not proud of it. I thought I had standards that wouldn't be compromised on. I'd rather not look back but I can't help myself. I recognize the patterns, the increased heartrate, the uncertainty, the butterflies in my stomach... the anxiety. I have fallen from grace, yet again. And I don't know if I can ever get back up again.