I bought some cream for my face. It was on offer and I’m nearly forty.
Snake Venom, it said, will instantly freeze your wrinkles. I dropped it in my basket and moved on to the nappies and wipes.
Hang on, Snake Venom? Really?
Improved Formula with SYN-AKE, a snake venom-like peptide.
That sounds artificial, and toxic, but I really don’t want to look old.
Instant Effect Wrinkle Filler, for visibly smoother and plumper skin.
Mercury, Botulism, Leeches straight from Medieval Physick onto our twenty-first century faces.
Poison is the acceptable face of beauty.